Things I Like: The Best of SkyMall

GUESS WHAT?

This is my 103rd post.

from chatterbox

We’re celebrating 103 because 100 is overrated, 101 reminds me of dalmations, 102 isn’t an interesting number, and 103 is an incredibly compelling number.

It’s prime, there are 103 petals on a daisy, I say 103 prayers at night, and, well, that’s all a lie.

from sodahead

Except the prime thing. That was true.

Truth is, I wasn’t paying attention when I published my 100th post, and by the time I realized it, it was too late.

from funnyphoto

So we’re celebrating NOW! Hurrah!

from leahlubman

And I thought, what better way to celebrate than to talk about SkyMall, that glorious store of the skies?

SkyMall has so many weird products it’s hard to narrow it down. How can you choose between a Tutankhamen Wall Sculpture and The Peeing Boy of Brussels Fountain?!?

Ok, I actually scoffed at both, but I’m ashamed to say that there are a lot of products in SkyMall that I truly would purchase if I had the funds. Or the storage space. But right now I just can’t justify getting a Back Max.

from skymall

Or a Voice Activated R2D2.

from skymall

El Guapo would love it.

8GB Sound and Camera Pen

from skymall

The sleeper agent inside of me really, really wants one of these. Not sure what I’d record though. Maybe Earth Momma trying to convince her youngest to eat something green. Or people at work discussing the latest insurance snafu.

It comes with a car charger so you can take it on the road.

Price: $179.99

Fleece Poncho With a Pillow

from skymall

Because the Snuggie wasn’t equipped with enough features, this one has a handy storage pouch inside for your stuff.

Plus it looks like a cape for your front. Capes are the shit.

Price: $29.99

Automatic Toilet Seat

from skymall

Automatically raises and lowers the seat so your fat, lazy ass doesn’t have to bother.

Price: $159.99

Foldable Photo Studio

from skymall

Olan Mills for very small objects.

And the very bored housewife.

Price: $199.95

Ceramic Pet Fountain

from skymall

For the truly refined pet.

Price: $79.95

The Illumicube

from skymall

For the person who has everything, because they sure as hell don’t have this useless box. Bonus: requires minimal shelf space since it’s only 6″ x 5″

Price: $129.95

Comfort U Pillow

from skymall

I want to sleep in bliss with a rose. She looks so peaceful.

Price: $129.95

iGrow Hair Rejuvenation Laser

from skymall

This is to hair growth what headgear was to orthodontics.

Earguards are attached, I guess to protect your ears from…the lasers?

Good news! It even works for girls.

from skymall

Stylish and affordable at the low, low price of $695.00.

Cordless Window Vacuum

from skymall

Windex and paper towels are too blasé.

Their justification was that it would save money. That’s approximately 35 rolls of paper towels and 10 bottles of Windex. I’ll take my chances.

Price: $69.99

Bling  String

from skymall

Why get the same hair extensions as everyone else when you can add some bling and make a true statement? You won’t look like a fairy. Promise.

Price: $9.95

Jeans Lounge Pants

from skymall

Because you wouldn’t want anyone to think you’re a sloppy dresser, lounging around in your pajamas.

Price: $22.95

Hidden Litter Box

from skymall

I think I’d rather look at a litter box.

Price: $99.95

Bigfoot Garden Yeti

from skymall

Nothing quite says “mi casa es su casa” like angry Bigfoot.

Price: $125

suck it, martha.

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Categories: Things I Like

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