Blueberry Streusel Muffins

Until yesterday, El Guapo had a big, bushy beard.

from efreya

Because of circumstances beyond his control, yesterday he shaved his beard.

This wasn’t just any beard, folks. This beard had personality.

from fallout

Sometimes its personality was distinguished, like a college professor.

from commentarymag

When this happened, girls would inevitably hit on him, and I would have to chase them off with my scary eyes.

Just kidding. Mostly.

Sometimes it was mildly extremist. There were days when it looked a little too much like Al Qaeda for some people’s comfort.

from topnews

Though why they didn’t think “Amish” instead says more about them than it does the beard.

from cnn

Sometimes it was manly.  You would look at his face and think “Boy, I’ll bet he’s virile.”

from mengonewrong

Yep. Virile.

Then other times its personality was homeless.

from thefloatingfrog

It’s amazing what proper attire can do for one.

So yesterday morning, he shaved it all off, and I took it home in a bag.

I’m not a kooky screwball nutcase who totes around her boyfriend’s beard in a bag. Well, I am, but I had a reason.

See, when he told me he was going to shave it all off, my mind immediately lept to my garden

from dcgiftshop

I’ve been having vermin issues and one way to keep deer and vermin out of your garden is to sprinkle it with human hair. The scent keeps the unwanted pests away, and your oregano (or whatever you’re growing) is safe.

As of yesterday, my garden is safe. See?

The Beard

Here it is with my oregano.

with the oregano

Guys, Spring is in full force! This means herbs, weeds, vegetables, flowers, and bugs! For tips and tricks on how to naturally manage a garden at it’s problems, go here.

If what you really care about are the muffins, read on!

I remember when my mom would make blueberry muffins.

from melomomma

They’d be from a package–usually Martha White–and the blueberries would come in a tin like the tuna fish.

from amazon

I thought it was weird. After all, didn’t blueberries grow on bushes? And weren’t they bigger than those puny canned things?

By the time they came out of the oven I didn’t give a shit. After all, a muffin is a muffin, and a muffin on the countertop is one that isn’t in my belly.

from journeyingpilgrim

from journeyingpilgrim

My love for blueberry muffins hasn’t gone anywhere. I’ve made whole wheat ones, all-white ones, thrown strawberries into the mix, you name it.

But these are the best.

They are not nutritious.

But they are the best.

from cracked

Martha White, you got nothin’ on these suckers. They’re streuseled.

(adapted from AllRecipes)

First, gather the players:


  • 1 1/2 c AP flour
  • 3/4 c white sugar
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 t salt
  • 1/3 c vegetable oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1/3 c buttermilk
  • 1 1/2-2 c fresh blueberries


  • 2/3 c brown sugar
  • 1/3 c AP flour
  • 1/2 stick of butter
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon

Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.

flour & sugar & salt & baking powder

In a separate bowl (or 1 cup measuring cup), mix the egg, oil, and buttermilk.

buttermilk, egg, & oil

Add to the dry ingredients.


Mix it all up.

mix it all up

Once mixed, add the berries.

Note: I’ve tried this with strawberries and blackberries too. Successfully.

add the berries

Your batter should look like this:

batter batter batter

Plop batter into a greased 12-cup muffin tin.

Make the streusel topping.

In a bowl, combine the brown sugar and flour.

brown sugar & flour

Take the butter out of the refrigerator (note: it must be cold), and loosely cube it into the flour/sugar mix.

cubed butter

Add the cinnamon.


Mix together with a fork until it looks like crumbles.


Top the muffins with the crumbly streusel topping.

ready to bake

Bake at 400 for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the muffin comes out clean.


Let it cool, or you’ll hurt your lips.

snack time

suck it, martha.

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Categories: Food & Drink


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2 Comments on “Blueberry Streusel Muffins”

  1. May 11, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    All hail the mighty protective powers of El Guapo’s beard!

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