Yankee Bitch Tells All: Evolution of the Perfect Omelet

Hi! You can call me Yankee Bitch. Here in the south that’s what they call me anyway.

from reactionface

from reactionface

I work with Captain Anna and apparently she heard about my omelet making skills enough that she asked me to guest post.

Now, to really understand the evolution of the perfect omelet we have to start back at the beginning…

The Early Years:
In 1983 I married my husband at the age of 24. I did not know how to cook very well. I was raised with five older siblings by a mother who hated to cook and clean which could lead me to either being a fat, lazy slob or a healthy, self- confident clean freak.

Well, I sort of chose the latter, meaning that is what I want to be but I don’t seem to have the time to exercise and clean as much as I’d like. But I could stand to lose a few pounds and this house could use a good spring cleaning! And no, my mom really  wasn’t a fat, lazy slob.

from angrywhiteguy

from angrywhiteguy

She was too busy taking us from one activity to the next, thereby avoiding the kitchen and house in general. Girl Scout’s, 4-H, choir practice, youth group, band, gymnastics, swimming lessons- all six of us were so involved. No wonder she was never home to cook and clean!

from ebay

from ebay

I always joke that all food tastes good to me since my mom was such a bad cook!

She’d burn the fried chicken, brown the mac & cheese too much (and how did that little casserole dish feed a family of eight, anyway?) and well, let’s just say she shouldn’t leave the kitchen with pasta boiling. I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what al dente meant.  She could however, cook eggs, thank God, so perhaps that is where my passion for the perfect omelet started.

Whenever I was sick she’d cook eggs with dry toast. That one day every month during high school that I had to stay home because of horrible cramps, she always brought me dry toast and an egg or two. She was a midwife in an earlier era and always took good care of us when we were ill, in a caring but messy kind of way.

from gurl

from gurl

Fast forward to 1983: We marry, we move south, we start new jobs. Every weekend, I made breakfast (the husband was better at dinner back then).  I always liked scrambled eggs better than fried, so I started experimenting with making omelets. At first they were too runny, either because I didn’t cook them the right way or I didn’t drain the vegetables enough.

The husband is a real meat and potatoes kind of guy, so I was usually making ham and cheese omelets. Then I started adding onion, mushrooms, green pepper.  I’ve used all kinds of cheese, but sharp cheddar is great with ham, so I stuck with it.
Over the years, I’ve strived to perfect the omelet- not just the way it tastes, but the way it looks. I think one of the best ways to not only learn how to cook but also how to present the food is by doing it for someone you love and whom you want to please. If you are lucky enough to have this kind of relationship in your life, you will strive to be the best you can be, and will do things they will be proud of you for.

You know, basically kiss their ass but love every minute of it.

from chexydecimal

from chexydecimal

With this in mind, I continued to work on the omelet. Sometimes he would make the omelet, but it was always wrong. It was too thick, too brown, too runny, etc. He isn’t allowed to make them anymore. He can make a lot of things better than me, and that’s great. But he can’t make omelets.

from delish

from delish

Breakfast at IHOP
While living in Michigan, we went to IHOP for breakfast. I ordered the Swiss cheese, spinach, tomato and mushroom omelet. It had hollandaise sauce on top. It was delicious, except there was too much hollandaise. The next time I ordered it I substituted the Swiss cheese for feta, and I liked it better.

Then we moved to Mobile, AL and we visited the IHOP there. But there was a big a problem: they could not substitute the Swiss cheese with feta. They had no feta. No feta cheese in the whole restaurant.

What??? Where am I?

This is when I went home and began to perfect my favorite omelet of all time: the FETA, spinach, tomato and mushroom omelet.

And thus began the love affair I have with eggs every Sunday morning.

To begin your own love affair, gather

  • 3  large eggs
  • 1 cup fresh spinach
  • ½ cup fresh mushrooms
  • ½ cup fresh cherry or grape tomatoes, sliced in half
  • ¼ cup feta cheese
  • 1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
  • salt & pepper to taste

A secret to the perfect omelet is the pan.

See the one on the left? Too small. And the one in the middle? That’s too big!

pan

pan

It must be a really good non-stick pan!

chopped

chopped

sauteing

sauteing

Add chopped fresh parsley.

adding parsley

adding parsley

Once the veggies reach the desired tenderness DRAIN WELL! You don’t want any liquid inside the omelet. Cover to keep warm but don’t return to sauté pan. Keep sauté pan on stove so it is ready for the spinach which you need to cook right before adding to the omelet.

drained

drained

Meanwhile, melt about a tablespoon of butter in your perfect size nonstick pan on medium heat.

buttering

buttering

Mix up three eggs using wire whisk until frothy. Do not add milk.

whisking

whisking

Pour whisked eggs slowly into pan. Add a little salt and pepper and immediately cover.

eggy pan

eggy pan

covered!

covered!

Let eggs cook slowly on medium /low heat, tightly covered, for about five minutes. Check to make sure the eggs don’t bubble up too much. Lift the bottom with a spatula to be sure they are not getting brown.

checking for golden

checking for golden

You want a yellow omelet, not brown. A little golden is ok, but not brown!  If there is no liquid left on top and the bottom is light to golden, your omelet is done. Turn off heat, leaving pan on stove.

Add feta to omelet so the cheese will begin to melt.

cheese

cheese

Pour a little olive oil into the sauté pan and toss spinach until wilted.

olive oiled

olive oiled

green leafies

green leafies

You only need to cook the spinach a minute or so.

Spoon the drained veggies onto the omelet.

veggies

veggies

Now your spinach should look like this:

spinach perfection

spinach perfection

Spread the spinach over the veggies.

spinach added

spinach added

Time for the fun part! Using a large spatula, carefully begin to slide the omelet onto the plate.

carefully...

carefully…

almost there...

almost there…

hurrah!

hurrah!

Add salt and pepper and fresh chopped parsley for garnish.

garnishing

garnishing

Serve with toast and orange juice. Bon Appetite!

breakfast

breakfast

You can change up the filling ingredients as much as you want.

This is my husband’s favorite: Ham and cheddar cheese with green onion, mushrooms and tomatoes topped with salsa and fresh cilantro.

omelet a la husband

omelet a la husband

suck it, martha.

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Categories: Food & Drink, Guest Posts, Tips

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3 Comments on “Yankee Bitch Tells All: Evolution of the Perfect Omelet”

  1. the tailor
    February 19, 2013 at 9:11 am #

    Never seen an omelet cooked this way. I’ll give it a try and hope Julia Child’s ghost doesn’t haunt me.

  2. Yankee Bitch
    February 19, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

    Give it a try! Let me know what you think.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Chicken-Fried Venison | suck it, martha - January 27, 2014

    […] I learned how to make the best omelet of my life from Yankee Bitch, who I am delighted to sit next to every day. (read about that amazing omelet and see the step by step here) […]

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